How to support your child who is being bullied

Bullying is any deliberate and repetitive behaviour that makes someone feel upset and unsafe. Bullying can be either verbal, such as name calling, mocking and making hurtful comments; physical, such as hitting and pushing; or indirect, such as spreading rumours or excluding someone from activities. Cyber bullying is a form of indirect bullying, this is when bullying takes place through the use of technological devices such as mobile phones, computers and game consoles. Examples of cyber bullying include offensive messages, spreading rumours, sharing pictures or information about someone which could cause harm. Children may have low self-esteem as a result of experiencing bullying as well as psychological effects that can be long-lasting throughout childhood and even impact their adult life.

There are a number of behavioural indicators to look out for that can help you identify if your child is being bullied. These include a change in attitude, appearing sad, aggressive, anxious or moody; becoming withdrawn in larger groups of people; isolating themselves; lack of interest in activities they usually enjoy; avoiding school; and becoming upset after using a technological device. There are also some physical indicators such as cuts and bruises as well as damaged or missing possessions which could indicate that your child is being bullied. 

Supporting your child who is experiencing bulling can be difficult and they may not want to discuss their experiences. It is important to provide opportunities for you and your child to talk however make sure that they are ready and willing to do so. When your child does disclose their bullying to you, the way you react is very important. You want your child to know that you have listened to them and what they have told you is important, that you believe what they have told you and that you will support them. You can ensure this by trying to remain calm, explaining back to them what they have told you, reassuring them that telling you was the right thing to do and thanking them for telling you. Keeping a record of when incidents occur, where and what happened, who was involved and what action was taken can be helpful when discussing bullying with your child’s school. Let your child know how you can take action against the bullying and ask them for their input on what they would like to do.

Your child’s self-esteem may be lowered as a result of bullying and they may be focusing on the negative aspects of themselves and their lives. Encouraging your child to focus on the positive aspects of their lives, the things they’re good at and their dreams and aspirations can help them to refocus on the positive and help them to understand that they have value. In order to help your child to build their self-confidence by encouraging them to participate in activities they have interest in, such as art, sports or drama. Often when children are worried, angry or feeling stressed they need to express themselves – these activities are a great way for them to do that.   

If the bullying is taking place at school or by children from school during afterschool hours it is important to make the school aware of what’s happening and how it is affecting your child. If serious cases of bullying has occurred you may need extra, professional support, you can get this by speaking to your GP, child’s school or local youth service.